Oy what a week. Yesterday I had a complete mental freak out. I was doing ok all morning and then once the afternoon hit I went a little crazy. The house was a mess and while I knew I needed to clean it I couldn’t get my butt off of the couch because I was feeling overwhelmed, I felt like I had SO much to do in preparation for Saturday and no clue where to begin, and all of the little things (like the trash men not taking my trash because it was ‘too heavy’) started me in a spiral of feeling completely overwhelmed. I started non-stop snacking. Thankfully I don’t own any unhealthy food right now but it’s still not good to over eat.
Once I recognized what was going on, I just got up and started cleaning the house. I started sweeping and dusting. Then I vacuumed and organized a couple kitchen drawers and even cleaned out the microwave. I was starting to feel much better. Then I headed to Dick’s to buy a cooler and even though I spent time searching the Clearance racks, I didn’t buy anything else (a huge accomplishment my husband should be happy about!). I decided since I’m having over-eating issues with my anxiousness of the comp I should wait to go grocery shopping so I don’t eat everything I buy! Instead I went back home and started packing clothes for the comp. I even cleaned out my truck a bit so the cooler I just bought and chairs will fit.
Having done all of that eased a little bit of my stress and gave me a sense of control since I lack it right now over time and the outcome of the competition. I wish I could say I am feeling more relaxed today but I feel about the same. I feel better knowing I don’t have a disgusting house anymore and that I have my workout clothes set aside so I don’t accidentally wear them (I don’t know how I’d accidentally wear them but whatever). I feel better having most of the items I need ready, too.
Now the task of chilling out and learning how to keep my nutrition under control takes place. Tonight I will go to Giant and get the last bit of food I need for Saturday and go to the Mobility class. I’m hoping those 2 things calm me down a little bit more tonight.
I knew this week was going to be tough but I didn’t anticipate such a mental battle. I do, however, feel like I am doing better than I thought I would – which I guess is sad if you think my craziness thus far is high on the Crazy Scale (it’s a real thing). But really I am doing well for me.
Today’s goal: stick to my plan for food! That is all I want to accomplish. Oh and organize my spice cabinet since the spice organizer I ordered from Target should arrive today. 😛
…I have issues. Don’t judge me 😉